The “I” and “Me” and the Generalized others, of George Herbert Mead, focuses on the effects of the significant others in the development of our perception of the self. In contrast to the study of Charles Cooley, where he believed that the other people are the ones that play a significant role on how we view our selves. Mead instead focused on the significant others, the significant people that may influence to our perception of the self and how those people thoughts of us changes across the lifespan. The special people which Mead refers are the closest people to us, most especially our family, relatives, peers and even your loved one. Mead’s theory highlights the effect of the significant others, their influence in our life to what they expect us to become. In this theory of the social self, we will understand the views, thoughts and expectations of society had of us and how it affects the development of our self.
“I” is
the individual identity of a person and our personal response to what the “Me”
social self or society thinks. And to have the ability to think what those
things in society means and think what the best for himself is. “Me” on
the other hand refers to how the Generalized Other or the society
view or sees us, generally, this implies into what is expected on our actions,
in a specific event or scenario and be concerned with the question what does
other people think of me? For example, in a buffet, I - want to eat
using my hands. But the Me – social self, the society tells us that we
must eat using with our spoon and fork because that is part of our culture and
what our society tells. And for another example, the “I” the society
might wanted “Me” to always be submissive on other people. But “I” believe
that I have the freedom to decide who to serve and who to respect. The relationship
between the “I” and the “Me” of Herbert Mead, is a vice versa
type of relationship that complement one another in shaping and developing the
identity of our self. They may be contradicting, but both set of selves
determines the difference between what we believe versus what the society or
the general others view. And according to George Herbert Mead, this enables us
that these two intertwined concepts represents that who we are, or the actual
self is both but the balance of “I” and the “Me”.
But how? Or what is the basis
of George Herbert Mead in this developing particular theory of the Social Self?
The creation of the “I” and “Me” theory stems from his
observations of human interaction and human relationship. In how we act
differently when we are alone compared to what we act when we are outside or in
the society. And as to how society affects the way of how we view or think of
our self.
The society makes an opinion
to what they see in but, first, though I said that society greatly impacts the
way on how we view our social self and in understanding the attitudes, beliefs,
and behavior of the others or the generalized other. We tend to not only
understand what we personally believe but what others perceives of us as well
and in response, we become concerned or conscious of our actions. But remember,
we don’t care about all the perceptions or opinions others say at us, only to
the significant others, or the people who we have a special connection or
relationship with us are the ones that make a significant impact in
establishing your perception of self.
Let us use our family as an
example, our family gives us the rules and teach us the attitudes, beliefs and
behaviors that should be expected of us. And in that sense, they are ones who
directly imposes you what your “Me” should be and how you should act. And
in support to that the “I” is your response to that me, you will think
about what does those things mean and decide to choose what will be the best
for you. Will you decide to do what is expected of “Me” by our society or will
you go for what “I” believe should be done.
The theory of “I” and “Me” of
the social self, expounds the different views of the self from our individual
identity and choices and to the social self and its societal views. This theory
of the self is also, thereof, related to Mead’s stages of self-development that
lead to the foundation and study of the “I” and “Me” theory of the self. In
Mead’s stages of self-development there are three stages in our childhood that
made a significant and lasting impact in our social lives. The stages of
self-development are the preparatory stage, the play stage, and the game stage.
The preparatory stage refers
to a child being able to imitate its surroundings, they imitate the actions of
the people that is surrounding them. For example, they can imitate their mothers’
washing the plates by picking up a plate or any round object at home then
imitate the hand motions, they imitate their sisters brooming the floor by
picking up a broom or using a paint brush as little broom or imitate the web shooting
of spiderman like what they saw in the TV or in YouTube. There are no signs of
social interaction, they only mimic what others do. In the preparatory stage because
in this stage children are still socially underdeveloped. Children on this
stage only cares little and has their own world. What they believe and perceive
is all personally in the mind.
The play stage, in this stage,
children start to show signs of social interactions and development of social
relationships. In this stage, children learn to pretend play, to pretend like
“Play-doctors” and “Play-houses”. They also undergo in a process of role-taking
where the children mentally assume a role to be like the other person, for
example, to play and act as a doctor, they do check-ups, and prescribe medicine
to their sick toys and they talk to their toys to stay healthy. This may seem like
an “imitation” but on this part children are able to respond, they do not only
mimic social interactions but can engage and creating them. During the play
stage also begins where children can consider the attitudes, beliefs, and
behaviors of the people closest to them.
Lastly, the final stage, the
game stage, in this part children’s understanding of social interactions become
even more developed. Children are now able to start to understand the
attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of others, meaning that children can
understand the Generalized Other or the Society as a whole. In this stage, children will not only
understand what they personally believe but also what the society
more broadly expects of them. Children will also be able to understand that
we have multiple roles. That people aren’t simply, like for example,
Moms, Doctors, or Teachers, that they can be multiple things at once. Mom can be
a baker; the Doctor also goes in the park and not only in the hospital and the
Teacher shops at the Market and not only teach. Personally, this type of phenomenon
also happened with me because when I was younger from Kinder until to my Junior
High School Years, I thought that all adults are graduates of college and all moms
have a bachelor’s degree in college, because my mom is a teacher and a graduate
that I thought all moms are the same too. But then I further realize as I go on
with my life that people are different, and we have multiple roles.
Still to the Game Stage, once
the children learn and understand the Generalized Other and people have
multiple roles. They also begin to understand about what others must have an
opinion and expectations about them. And those perceptions of others are
influenced by how they act and what they say. And so, in response they themselves
(the children) begin to be influenced by these perceptions. They start to be concerned
and conscious about the other reactions on what they do. They begin to be
sensitive, and careful to their choice of words and actions so that they will
not offend and break the opinions or expectations of others. But one thing to
note is that, not all perceptions of others are considered by a child say only
the Significant Others, the people that have an important relationship
to the child. In relation to what I said above, the significant others are
especially the family, relatives, peers and your loved one.
The three stages of
development are the foundation of the development of the “I” and “Me”, most
especially, in the game stage, where George Herbert Mead was inspired. After
all the main essence of the game stage is the greater understanding of the
child’s social interaction and relationship. Whereas like the “I” and “Me” in
the game stage, the child can understand the attitudes, beliefs, and behavior
of other people. And only not consider their personal beliefs, but what other people
expects of them as well. And that is the basis of the foundation of the “I” and
“Me” theory of the social self by George Herbert Mead.
In conclusion, the “Me”
is our social self and the society’s view. It is how the society or generalized
others sees based on their expectations, it answers the question “What is
expected of me?” and the “I” is our individual identity, our personal
response to the “Me” or the social self, is the personal belief and judgment
of what is best for “I” it answers the statement “What I believe should
be?”. A real-life example for this analysis; The university expects that
students from AB Political Science should take a Juris Doctor Law Degree after
graduation, but I believe that graduated students are free to choose their
future careers.
In reflection, the “I” and
“Me”, is both part and significant in determining our social self. It enables
us to understand how the society views and what expects of us to do and at the
same time analyze the best possible outcomes and decisions. In life, I sometimes
do things that are expected of me by the society. I act based on the norms and
do things the way what others expects and think about me. I develop a “Me”
a social self and an identity a good face to others that is different to my
personal self. But I also do not forget to become my own individual identity. I
stay true to myself and at times do things that are unique, unorthodox, and
different than what society believes and expects me to be. All in all, I am a
mix of the “I” and “Me”, in different circumstances, I want to do something,
but society believes I should do other things, so I’ll do the other things as
the society deems and the society may expect me to be something like this, but I
will act different and do things I desired better.
The relationship between the “I”
and the “Me” of Herbert Mead, is a vice versa type of relationship that
complement one another in shaping and developing the identity of our self. They
may be contradicting, but both set of selves determines the difference between
what we believe versus what the society or the general others view. In analysis,
George Herbert Mead believes that these two intertwined concepts represents
that who we are, or the actual self is both but the balance of “I” and
the “Me”.
May God Be Glorified!
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