“Only the Strong Survives” | Shattered world: Breaking your current self | “A Memoir in My LIfe” By: Lourenzo Manimtim (Part 2)

 

The world today is probably best era! Out of all eras of human history. It is almost easy to just get anything you want like just order food online and it will be directly delivered to doorstep or Order and shop products online in which you wouldn’t have trouble going out then it will be delivered for you. Life is easier now compared to the past, well it is easy, but you of course still need money if you want to live an easy life. We are here in this modern world, an era of peace, free trade, and Globalization. With things seeming like it very easy to get we are getting used to it and experience a sense of contentment or comfort. And when reach a state of comfort, we fail to realize the reality of life and the difficulties of situation. And when that certain moment comes when we are shocked by the reality of life. That moment where we will be pulled up from our beds and thrown outside of our comfort zone. We will cry, we won’t cry out of sadness but rather you will experience tears of the challenges of the real world. You will feel responsibility, you will feel hardships, you will make decisions that you will regret and lastly, you’ll feel the sin of your ignorance. That ignorance that caused you your dreams and veered your life into a rockier path.

I was awoken, I was slapped, and it destroyed my easy life — my world. In that time, I had been snapped from my daydreams and little did I know, I am outside of the warm sheets of my comfort world. To be honest, I’d prefer to be in a clueless world, devoid of any external forces, making me free. I am unchained, I am free of my thoughts and words. But sadly, that won’t be possible anymore, though I want to live in a life that gives me comfort, gives me relief that frees me from any responsibility. The reality is in one way or another, a man will face its destined fate, by its sin of ignorance and negligence, be brought upon the real world.

It was nine days after the last year passed, on January 9, 2022, on this day, at exactly 11:11 PM, a memory that I will not ever forget marked forever in history. I am in a daze as I gaze at the black cloudless sky, in the middle of the night, in front of my black tinted window screen that make the sky even more night black. My mind wonders in deep reflection as I stared up at the night sky, in the little gap I can glimpse at the window of my study place. I am in great distress that time because I fear what to do next? I don’t what to do! What will happen in the future? or better to say I am in that deep emo-depressed state, I am sad, irrational, and nervous, it was hard to think proper — I can’t do it.

I am working towards my college application, and I was struggling to find a good school, a university for my college. I am planning to take a Political Science course in college because one day I want to become an international lawyer and a Filipino business magnate. I was searching for lots of schools on the internet, in public and private universities like UP Diliman, PUP and San Beda. I was also looking for scholarship programs, because we have great a financial crisis right now and we are having trouble with money though my mom is a master teacher and earns a lot than most people. She is the breadwinner of our family and most of her income just goes into bills and to my dad’s health because he is sick.

 I want to get a scholarship, but I don’t know where? And how can I get one? I hope somebody can help me to find a scholarship. Though I now one method, well that is maybe I just need to become a valedictorian! So, I will have little problems on my tuition, and I will be smart too! Isn’t that the best! I want to become a great and an influential person one day. But I missed many application deadlines of many top universities, I missed my chance on UP Diliman, solely due to my negligence, ignorance, and irresponsibility. I want to enroll on UP Diliman, but I am a sinner, I am slothful. I want to be someone great and amazing, yet I am anxious on my slowness in matters and things. And till this day that sin is still very much engraved. That day made me realize that life is a jungle where only the strong survives. Matira and matibay! Makakain ka kung mabagal ka kumilos! Ang tunay na magaling ay angat!

But I did not give up! Even though I missed many opportunities especially on my UP Diliman application. I reflected and just accepted the situation; I did not give up! And just search instead and do what I can do! Until then, I was able to apply successfully at Polytechnic University of the Philippines (PUP) and at the Pamantasang Lungsod ng Maynila (PLM) both of which applications are still on verification. And lastly, with San Beda University I was able to be accepted on the admission and now I can enroll. Well, I want to be in San Beda because it is like Siena College, I want to go into a catholic university. I want to build up my moral and spiritual foundations as human person in preparation of my future profession.

But the thing is that we don’t have money for now, my mom is the only one that contributes the most to the family’s income. It is true and it is real, that my privilege of education is getting difficult now. Real world is terrifying especially if you experience real problems, the financial problem that we have together with my dad’s sickness, even though I am not directly affiliated I still feel pressure. I just want to dream but I know life is not all dreams because we need to face the nightmares — the hardships of life. Matira and matibay! Makakain ka kung mabagal ka kumilos! In the end, though I can miss things, I will never forget what happens on January 9, 2022, and this day is a testament a mark of history, a moment, a lesson that should forever be remembered! I want to help my family, get a scholarship and be a great person someday. But of course, God is always at my side!