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“Ups and Downs” | A Gawad Patnugot Breakthrough | “A Memoir in My LIfe” By: Lourenzo Manimtim (Part 1)

 

 Gawad Patnugot is a prestigious competition where only the most Outstanding Master Teachers battle and compete to be the best. And I am a part of that competition! Well, I am not the main contestant, for my mom is the one who is competing. She is an outstanding Master Teacher an intelligent, wise and a caring person. She is a leader type, a strict leader that does not tolerate laziness and incompetence. But on March 14, 2022, amidst the pressure and the competitive situation of Gawad Patnugot. I was heavily scolded; I have neglected to help my mom with some of her documents in exchange of doing and complying with my school works. Then after I had been scolded, I was broken and I’ve got into that identity crisis thingy and had questioned myself of my worth and purpose as I how I can be blind of things and be ignorant, to be a prideful person that always forces what he wants. Well, I had been humbled that day and it made me realize how slow I am, I am slow in working and I am slow to think, and I have difficulties getting work fast even if I have quality, just like what I am doing right now. That moment made me realize that if I want to be greater and be better, I should become much smarter and work faster in your work to get the best results.

But time has passed and right now, am I still all talk? didn’t I already learnt my lesson? I go in battles to stand and climb yet I still fall, I know things, yet I do not at the same time. I am very oblivious, what keeps me in this cage of thought? What are these chains that shackle my freedom to be or not to be? I dream and I fly yet I pop like a bubble and fall into abyss. Where once again I will need to stand up and walk my path again on another repeat. How much time have since passed? Since the first time this experience had happened? A week, a month ago or perhaps it is even years or decades? When did it began? When did this happen? I search and yet I do not find. But even still I will go on as I know that life never stops and each day there are things, opportunities, and chances to search and find what my heart desires, to finally found what I yearn to be. And yet until today, time has passed yet I am still the same, what do I lack to be better? Do I just need to be better? But what is this better? Am I already better or for worse? What goes beyond this better? Is it the best!? Maybe it the best, so perhaps I will just be the best!

The Battle for Gawad Patnugot is still raging and the flickering flames of battle is still burning on. The gathering of necessary documents, the stress and breakdowns is still nowhere far. I have already faced many failing gears these days, I have made sacrifice on lots of things. I do not know what will happen to the future of this competition. We want to win! I am not perfect, and I know I have lots of limitations. But these struggles and challenges that I am facing today will be my breakthrough! I will not give up; I will be the best version of myself! I will win over myself no matter what and conquer this challenge!

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